Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
