why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
