You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
