i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
