I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
