And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
