she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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