So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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