He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
