Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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