I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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