i don't like sucking hair
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
