So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Randomize
