I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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