It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
