every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
