I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
