I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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