she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
