White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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