Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
