Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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