there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
