I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
FUCK WHALES
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
