Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
