Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
