It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
