found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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