david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
