my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize