she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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