i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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