Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
