I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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