I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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