Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
