Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
