I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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