sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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