the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize