i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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