I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
