hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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