You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
