i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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