Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
