is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
