so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
