Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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