She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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