Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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