Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
