theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
