Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
