Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
