we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
you will always have a special place in my vag
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
