This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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