so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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