He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
