Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
