Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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