I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
