I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
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